Ack! My Wife's Ultrasound Was Very Stressful for Me

We went in to get an ultrasound today since my wife is pregnant. At this point in her previous pregnancy she'd already had two, so this seemed like it wouldn't be very difficult. But she's a little older now, so the perinatal clinic at Meriter requires us to get "genetic counseling." Honestly, I probably shouldn't have gone. I should have just stayed home with the kid and let Monica go on her own, but I went - I want to see my child. I want to know the sex (And isn't it "sex?" Everyone at the clinic was saying "gender." I thought this was settled a few years ago. Unless they were going to tell me something about the choices the baby was going to make about clothes and which restroom the baby will want to use then they should say sex.). Anyway, I went.

The very nice lady counseled us for half an hour in a small room with a beat up old three ring binder with drawings of chromosomes. She took, very skillfully, our family history. She showed us a table of risk percentages for down syndrome and overall genetic problems. Wow, they certainly do go up after the mother gets to be thirty years old! My wife and co-blogger is 36. Then we sat in the counseling/scarifying room for fifteen minutes while they got the ultrasound room ready or whatever they had to do. Keep in mind I'm entertaining a three-year old the whole time.

Eventually we got to go into the room where they do the ultrasound. So we continued to wait in the ultrasound room. The tech came, he wore a collared shirt and very nice glasses - no scrubs - and he rubbed the jelly on my lady's belly and started the ultrasound. The ultrasound tech said, "I can't tell you anything except the gender and point out the parts of the body." Certainly all the parts of the baby were there. It took nearly forty-five minutes. He asked Monica to get up and go to the bathroom to help the baby move around. Then he gave us the pictures of the little darling. We waited another 10 minutes for the doctor. The doctor came. She was a very nice lady. So by this time, the initial frightening session was two hours in the past. I was ready for answers. Amelia was ready to go home or do anything but be in that dark room with the computer monitors. That's when the doctor mentioned something about "umbilical artery" and "we used to think that this might be a sign of heart problems" but... Amelia started screaming and whining, and she opened the door to go out. I jumped up and grabbed my daughter and shouted at her. I brought her back to the chair next to Monica in time to hear the doctor say, "...perfectly healthy baby. I don't see anything of concern here at all."

Why did we have to go the genetic counseling/scarifying session? I still don't get it. I just want to say again that the doctor said that the baby is totally fine, but why did they have to spend so much time preparing us for some remote possibility. It was just stupid.

But I do have a picture of my new baby girl.









P.S. I typically find these "4-D" ultrasound pictures creepy, but that obviously hasn't stopped me from posting it.

Plastic Toys and Licensed Characters Are Like High Fructose Corn Syrup and Hydrolyzed Oil.

I recently had this email exchange with my dad:

My dad wrote: "Question about "Licensed" toys. It appears that a more & more toys have some character or personality on them. Not that you can not find some without, but sometime the item you really like does. Anyway what are your suggestions as to what would be OK if it came to that?"

I replied: "We try not to get toys with characters on them. If you do get
something, Sesame Street is usually fine. Dora the Explorer is okay.
Hello Kitty/Sanrio is okay, too. It's easier to say what we shun
altogether: Barbie, Bratz, Hannah Montana. Please don't buy Barbie or
any of those. We also try to stay away from Disney princess stuff, but
among the bad, Disney princess is better."

The exchange highlights something that I think about A LOT - toys and television.

It's very frustrating to me that toys and television are so closely linked these days. Every item that is available for children is available in as some kind of licensed product. The insidiousness works both up and down. We went looking for a toothbrush and all the toothbrushes are branded. I let her (3 yo) pick out her own toothbrush. From among them all she chose a Disney princess toothbrush - despite having no exposure to the princess movies or other products at home. Since she doesn't know that there are princess movies or other toys she hasn't asked for them, but I am sure it will happen sooner than later. She has friends, they watch TV, they play with princesses, she's smart, she'll figure it out and then she'll want to watch princesses. And then there's the hook that works the other way, from TV show to licensed product. If she watches the TV show of say Curious George (which we allow her to watch, mostly on DVD) then she'll be more inclined to want toys with Curious George on them.

I know that there is a futility to all this. She will get older. She will watch TV that I don't like. She will own toys that I don't like. Yet, I have to feel that pushing against those things and holding them off as long as possible is a good thing. The truth is that I find her toys that aren't covered in cartoon characters. Not all toys must be made of molded plastic. The point of this is to avoid training her to consume what she sees on TV.

For Dottie

You were a very good cat. You came to us a little kitten with a big purr and you left us a very big cat with a big purr. You put up with a lot from us over the years but you were always so gentle and sweet and soft.
We will miss you.

Miracle of Christmas

We put up the tree this weekend. After moving to the wilds of the upper Midwest, where evergreens grow in multitudes, we decided that we could not handle brutally cutting down our friendly trees so we bought an artificial tree on super post christmas mark down last year. It sat in our basement patiently waiting until this weekend. Here is what it looked like when J and little A unpacked it:

Not terribly glamorous. But after a few short minutes and a little plumping and primping and decor, it turned out to look like this:Look at those happy tree engineers . It still didn't look quite as full and luscious as the picture on the box but nothing ever does I guess.

As J mentioned in a previous post, I am working these days. It was a hectic first weekend but now is settling down to be a fun little gig. It is for these guys:
http://www.reducedshakespeare.com/wp/

If they are ever in your neighborhood, try to check 'em out. They are very goofy but I have never heard an audience laugh more from beginning to end. It is a nice place to work. I get to sit back stage and listen a wide variety of laughs: titters, belly laughs, guffaws, chuckles, screeches. It's awesome.

No we have not gone to church and we probably won't until after the holidays. Joining a church at Christmas seems like a little too much pressure, doesn't it?

Coffee

I had thought that I might take opportunity to quit drinking coffee since I stopped drinking it while I had a cold. The coffee tastes too strong and has too much acid. I could not do it. I have poured myself a cup of the swill they make here at the office, and now I have taken a drink. Ah, brown teeth, fetid breath, and the jitters.

Church

For those of you keeping score at home. We did not go to church this Sunday.

List of Modern Novels as Re-imagined by a Parent with a Small Child

Everything's Sticky, Everything's Cruddy

All Over But the Screaming and Crying and Banging Fists on the Floor and Flailing Around (and Oh, My God, Tears and Snot and Saliva All at Once - What Kind of Parent Am I?)

The Emperor's Children Have Much Better Toys

Poop Meridian

Infinite Jest

Snow for the first time again

It snowed for the first time this season yesterday. It is a very strange phenomenon. First it gets very cold. Then small pieces of frozen cloud come down from the sky. I had heard about it before and even lived through a winter last year, but I did not expect to be confronted with it again. It is all so odd. It is surprising to me that it snows, but I am surprised that I am surprised. I lived through my first winter in New France last year and it was brutal. Would it ever end, I thought? Indeed it did end. Would I ever thaw out, I thought? Sometime about August I did thaw out (we had a very mild summer). Along the line I forgot that it would happen again. And here it is.

The kid and I were home together as the snow started to fall outside our window. Eventually we decided that we needed to go out into it. Eating snow is her favorite method of playing in it.





















She was playing with playdough. She made a big heart, and then she put the little heart on top, and she said to me, "I'm going to put my heart in your heart." My heart melted.

Apostrophe?

Lets see clearing the cache... didnt work. I still cant type an apostrophe.

Ill try step two. Hold on a second. Hmmm Lets try again.

I still cant make it work. Oh, well. I will have to type around the apostrophe.

In other news I will be with the munchie from noon today as Squirrel goes to work. My cold is a little worse. My hair is a mess. It was snowing just a tiny bit as I came to work this morning. Just a dusting.

Happy Ending

I've been reading Lucky Jim by Kingsley Amis. The best part about the book is that I know how it ends. I'll give it away right here - as knowledge of the end only increases the pleasure the reader gets from the rest of the book - it has a happy ending. The book ends wonderfully happily, in fact. He get's the girl, moves to London, and leaves the university - all through no fault of his own. It's what I would wish for myself. One of the three isn't bad. I got the girl!

green eggs and ham

I read Green Eggs and Ham to little A before nap today. Here is a video that we saw when we went to storytime at the Library a few weeks ago. Just when you thought you couldn't make the story any trippier, hey, let's add back up singers!


I am glad the muppets are making a comeback. Just as long as it isn't in Coke commercials or Super Bowl specials (it is bad enough they were featured on the finale of Dancing with the Stars)

My Cold

My boss hardly had any reaction at all when I told him I came to work with a cold. Such a difference from my last boss who would have made me go home. Both ways are fine I guess. He did ask me if I had the flu, so I guess hes looking out for the other staff. [Just so you know I cant type an apostrophe on this computer in Firefox. If you know why that is let me know. Ive even changed keyboards but it doesnt help. What happens it that Firefox performs a find instead of typing an apostrophe.]

I feel pretty lucky. I get about one cold a year and I hope this is it. I hope that I dont start getting more colds now that the kid goes to preschool.

As for the muppets, I think theres going to be a comeback. Yeah. That sounds about right. Probably a web-only show.

When do want to try to attend church? This week? Or do you want to wait till after Christmas?

Also you should watch this. Its really neat after about a minute.

church isn't so bad

I know I know, I admit it makes me woozy, the declaring of one's devotion to Jesus when one goes to a Christian church. I don't know why but it does. That being said tho I am willing to give it a another shot. Contrary to your belief I have no designs on the Unitarians. It definitely has the strong community/education/social justice component that I am looking for but the worship does absolutely nothing for me. There is no ritual, no mystery, no mysticism. Unitarians are about the intellectual exploration of faith. Which is fine but it's too much like going to a lecture or a city council meeting. It's all business. The thing is I want the Jesus-y bits, the prayers, the coming together sharing a common faith, the wondering about God and all of God's glorious work. And I have nothing against Jesus really. He was a great teacher. I think it is just the semantics really. The declarativeness of some of the prayers.
Also, this is not just about having the kids go to church. I do want to have someplace to go to, a community to be a part of, something that we can all engage in together and then have questions about and talk about to each other. And I want it to be something that is relevant to us, to our history, to our culture. This is why I am having trouble inserting Buddhism into this slot. I enjoyed going to my mom's Sangha but 1)it is not something that we can all do together and 2) I just can't envision us as a family of Buddhists, it just doesn't fit. I know it works for some people but I can't see how it would work for us.
I can't do the Friends meetings. It is too loosey goosey for me.
There are no churches near us that we want to go to, honey. Bapist? Lutheran? Eastern Orthodox?

What is up with the Muppets these days? First the Bohemian Rhapsody thing which was brilliant and now this

A church part 2

We tried the Episcopal Church in New Spain [California] once. I really liked it, but you thought it was too Jesus-y. And it was Jesus-y but it was nice. This guy was there (yes, at the service, in the forward pews). We never went back. I really wonder if you can go to church or if you just want the kids to go. I know you have that whole Catholic thing in your background. What I really think is that you want to go to Unitarian church, but I can't go. I just can't. I can deal with the Friends, I think, but I'd give the Episcopal's another shot if you would.

I actually like the Episcopalian service. It's like the Catholic service and it has lots of ritual and color, and they're gay and women friendly which leaves one with a clear conscience. The only thing that I'd say is that I'd prefer a church close to our house.

Guest Blogger?

Infurriated Squirrel - my wife, Mrs. B. - will be guest blogging here from time to time.

This past weekend, my in-laws very graciously hosted our daughter at their house overnight. If you have a kid you know what kind of treat this can be for parents. We enjoyed our grinders at the dinner table together and we heard no shouting. We finished sentences. We asked questions, listened to answers, and asked follow up questions of each other. All without a small person shouting at us or dumping the salt shaker on the ground. It was very fine. We're going to attempt to keep that vibe going here.

A church

(A visit from guest blogging person, I. Squirrel, aka Mrs. B) I dreamed last night about going to church (I spent a good portion of the evening looking at the website of a local Episcopal church) I liked the church in my dream because it was decorated by "William Mackintosh" (A dream hybrid of William Morris and Charles Rennie Mackintosh I think). One thing I know about William Morris is that he was a big proponent of posessing things that are useful and beautiful. An important sentiment.

I want to find a church. Our kid(s) needs to have some kind of religious education. If we are going to celebrate holidays like Christmas and Easter (which we are) we need to have some kind of spiritual basis otherwise it is just awful. Should we try the Episcopal Church downtown? I liked everything that I read on their website (I know that sounds incredibly cheesey but hey how else do we screen things these days?) I know I have said that the Jesus-ness of a church like Episcopalian has made me a little woozy but I realize that the thought of continuing through life especially life as a parent without some kind of religious grounding makes me woozy too.

Here's another question for you: Is there anyone in the world right now who wishes they could trade places with Pres Obama? Sarah Palin might be making noises about it but seriously....Ugh! When is he going to be featured on "Dirty Jobs"?

Dream about PEN

I dreamt that I was walking down an incline through a shiny new UW campus building. I walked by a center of PEN housed in the campus building. On the TV there was a story about PEN Center USA in Los Angeles. The story was that PEN Center USA had taken in a group of refugees. It was all very heroic and I felt proud by association, and I let everyone know that I had worked there in the past. At the same time I knew that I had nothing to do with the heroism.

Photo Tag

I've been tagged by Girl in the Room to do a picture tag! Here it goes: open your first photo folder (She took this to mean oldest digital pictures folder). Scroll down to the 10th photo. Post that photo and story on your blog. Tag five others (or more) friends to do the same.























Monica's brother took this one while he was in Santa Barbara for our wedding. What's remarkable about it is that it's just the kind of thing that guy from Minnesota would take a picture of when he's in California. I only understand now that he was in California in February. Let me say again, he was in Minnesota in February, and then he flew to California. I don't think I could have understood at the time what a shock that must have been. Especially to come to Santa Barbara. It must have seemed freakish or like coming to heaven. He left a land that was slushy and frozen and beaten hard for three months by winter with at least a month or more of snow and subzero temperatures and he came to the Southern California coast. What must our verdant desert have seemed like? Among some of the other pictures he took was this one:


















And this one:

















This one was also on the roll:

















Here he is with his sister, soon to be married she is, running into the Pacific Ocean - in February - I can't stress that enough - February. Just as they ran into Lake Michigan as children.

I'll tag you back and add Blueprint Blue.

http://girlintheroom.blogspot.com/

http://blueprintblue.blogspot.com/

Too Late For Crime?

Is it too late for me to fulfill my life ambition of being a professional criminal and cat burgler?

This reminds me of my current favorite pitch - Go Team Ninja! - it's City Slickers meets Beverly Hills Ninja. A motley crew of middle aged misfits are thrown together during a work team building exercise. They bicker and complain until their beloved ninja master is kidnapped and they must band together and use the ninja techniques that they've gleaned along with their office skills to find him and bring him home.

Who Am I Here? Addressed More Fully.

I spent many years doing one kind of thing - working toward creating a screenwriting career in New Spain. Now I feel like that has come to an end. Not a bad end, but still an end. I still write. But now writing scripts seems pointless - not pointless, but purposeless. Why write scripts? Am I really going to sell one? Certainly I enjoy it, but there are other more reader-ready forms of writing than scripts. And, to tell the truth I was never a natural at it. Now of course I have a family and I am the guy who is going to work and making the money. I do that well. I'm good at it. Maybe I've spent the last ten years as Michael Jordan trying to play baseball. I like work. But my picture of my identity isn't of someone who works in an office, my picture of my identity is of someone who is an artist - a creator rather than a manager or a helper. Who can I blame for this? Ha! I can't say I regret my choices. I would much rather be in the position I am now having done what I wanted without too much regard for practicality than looking back with regret at not having goofed off more.

Who Am I Here?

This is the question that I've bumped into frequently since we've moved to New France - who am I here? God, there's so much to say about this I can't write it all now. Later.

Why Today?

Why have I picked today to start posting again? Who knows? It could be the sheets of ice over the streets and sidewalks. It could be because I'm wearing corduroy pants with a corduroy sport coat. (Some out there would be surprised, and I hope proud, to see how well I've cleaned up since my stay-at-home dad days.)

The real reason is because I miss typing and writing. I had a day off yesterday and did no writing at all. None. A completely free bonus day - with no writing done. What does that mean? Have I given up on my script? No. No. I refuse. I'm incubating it. But man, I need some outlet. Some venue for my thoughts.

If you're looking for a good read, try Norman Rush's Mating. Top shelf fiction. I must have read something else since then, but I can't remember what...