Superheroes et al. (Holiday Report – part 2)

Sweetie and I spent a week with my father and step-mother. Activities involved were: golf (only once), hiking (twice), watching TV (every day), eating pie (four times [twice for breakfast!]), [redacted] (twice), hot soak in the rec room hot tub (twice), and eating out (twice). It was a good time and my folks were very generous, but we overstayed by a day or so.

We went out to the links the day after we arrived and I popped my shoulder out on the first tee. It’s an injury that occurs when I’m tired and nervous, haven’t played for a while, feel rushed and haven’t warmed up properly. Some of you may remember that I did the same thing during a golf excursion as part of a certain Las Vegas bachelor party. It hurts and is a bummer. Regardless, I hit some good shots, and ended up having fun. Dad, my stepmom and I tried to go back out the day before we left, but a crazy storm blew in and we decided against it. I have, as you might guess, a desire to compete with my father at golf. The dream of every son is to thrash his old man, and the golf course is our squared circle.

-- Post script to our first day of golfing: there was a pack of teen-agers on a mesa above the course who were shouting mockeries through a PA system at the golfers. For example: "Good show, old bean!" And, " I like your pink shirt." It was very distracting and also totally surreal. --

Sweetie and I drove up to Zion one day. We spotted a Golden-crowned Kinglet and had to stop for an adult deer crossing the road to meet it’s brothers. We hiked up a trail (the Hidden Canyon trail, if I remember correctly), and found ourselves alone hundreds of feet over the canyon. I hung my feet over the drop-off and laid down on the trail. Looking up the vertical walls of the canyon in to the sky I had ten seconds or so of transcendence. Amazing. That’s why people take drugs, man.

We watched Spider-man 2 with the parents and also The Day After Tomorrow, which my dad called “really good science-fiction.” I guess he just wanted us to know that he didn’t endorse the film’s lefty politics.

We ate cherry pie with strawberry ice cream, and pecan pie with whip cream.

[redacted]

The rec room pool was very nice. The “weight room” was a treadmill, a stepper, a stationary bicycle, a small rack of chrome dumbbells and a tower of weight machines assembled, apparently, by Spanish Inquisition. The rec room hot tub was great.

Now, if you get to southern Utah, you must check out the Blue Bunny. Blue Bunny is a sit-down ice cream parlor and so much more. We went there during the “Santa Claus Pajama Party” and, as a former professional Santa, the Blue Bunny Santa is as close as you get to the real thing. This guy was good.

Anyway… There’s so much more to say about the trip. We were visited by the superbeing D-Nyal, whose power to pretend ignorance, regift presents, parrot his evil masters, and self-medicate is far greater than that of moral men. He can only be defeated by the parakeet Paraclete - David Allen Sibley. Thank you, David.