The Monkey, the Turkey, and the Wagon

So, I haven't written anything since before Christmas. There are many people and animals to blame for that. I blame Internets. Bastard. I blame this blog. I blame work. And the YMCA. I also blame the internet and email. I blame malaise. I blame Sundance and Sandow. I blame the winds at night and the roiling sea. I blame the doubt and the worry that come in the dark. I blame France and the President and the Vice President and the Democratic Party. I blame the English language. I blame a watch in my car and milk and Ganesh and Durga. Oh god and so much more. There is so much blame to go around.

Now what/who do I thank for support and encouragement?

I thank Sweetie. I thank golf. I thank Otto, Dottie, and Spooky P. I thank Elton Brand. (But I do blame Mark Madsen!) I thank Steve and Suzanne. I thank the Culver City Dynamic Duo. And I thank all my folks on the east side of the LA river. And my Santa Monica and Mid-Wilshire peeps. I thank all living beings and I thank all non-living beings. And I also must thank all non-beings (living or non-living). Thank you. Your support has not gone unnoticed. The work will continue soon. Not today. But soon.

Peace to all beings and non-beings.

Chuck

1. Chuck Norris’ tears cure cancer. Too bad he has never cried.
2. Chuck Norris does not sleep. He waits.
3. Chuck Norris is currently suing NBC, claiming Law and Order are
trademarked names for his left and right legs.
4. The chief export of Chuck Norris is pain.
5. If you can see Chuck Norris, he can see you. If you can’t see Chuck
Norris, you may be only seconds away from death.
6. Chuck Norris has counted to infinity. Twice.
7. Chuck Norris does not hunt because the word hunting infers the
probability of failure. Chuck Norris goes killing.
8. Chuck Norris is 1/8th Cherokee. This has nothing to do with ancestry, the man ate a fucking Indian.
9. In fine print on the last page of the Guinness Book of World Records it notes that all world records are held by Chuck Norris, and those listed in the book are simply the closest anyone else has ever gotten.
10. There is no chin behind Chuck Norris’ beard. There is only another fist.
11. There is no theory of evolution, just a list of creatures Chuck Norris allows to live.
12. When Chuck Norris goes to donate blood, he declines the syringe, and instead requests a hand gun and a bucket.
13. Crop circles are Chuck Norris’ way of telling the world that sometimes corn needs to lie the fuck down.
14. Chuck Norris doesn’t churn butter. He roundhouse kicks the cows and the butter comes straight out.
15. If you say Chuck Norris’ name in Mongolia, the people there will roundhouse kick you in his honor.

Thanks to Chander and the many Bothans who died to bring us this...

P.S. Don't forget to Ask Internets .

Winter, Sun

Looking out the window next to the desk where I write, I see a young oak tree across the street. Formerly proud, now after a day of rain he is barren - leafless. But he'll be back.

Now for some real news. I'm going to the Sundance film festival. I wanted to go, but I didn't want to go alone. A month ago I asked a friend of mine if he was going and he was all like, "No. Probably not." So it looked like I wasn't going. Then last week he called me up and said,"Did you still want to go to Sundance?" I was all like,"You bet." So we booked the flights and hooked up some floor space with a fellow that we know who will also be going. It's a "bring sleeping bags" sort of scenario. I am looking forward to it. Mostly I'm going to a) hustle Sandow, b) meet people, and c) see movies. I'm looking forward to it.

The sun is coming back after a gloomy day. Hopefully, I'll be able to get some golf in tomorrow.

Peace.

P.S. Check out the New Feature on the sidebar. I'm keeping track of all the Books, Films and Videos that I watch this year. I'm working right now on reading the Culture sci-fi novels of Iain M. Banks.

New Year

Happy New Year everybody. Please give Internets a hand. He did a wonderful job and we may see him again sometime. Thank you, Internets.

I am sensing huge changes coming this year. Some of those changes had their seeds planted in 2005, and some even earlier. Already two of my co-workers have left our little non-profit, one voluntarily, one not. What these changes mean for me is hard to tell.

I would like to share with you some of the phrases that I'm using this year to keep the energy in and around me flowing in a positive direction:

We always have plenty of money.

I always get paid lots of money for my scripts.

I always acknowledge and follow signs and take advantage of opportunites.

I always get everything I want.

There are a couple of others, but they are more personal and not to be shared with the public. As you can tell I spend time thinking about my writing career and making money. If I spend so much time thinking about these things, I figured, why shouldn't I think about them in a positive way, rather than a negative way? Negativity wasn't doing me much good.

And my primary goal for the year, among (but slightly above) my many others goals, is to write professionally so that I can leave my job.

ASK INTERNETS

Hello, my name is Internets. You can ask me any question and I'll give you an answer.

Stuff on my Frickin' Cat!

I thought all you bloggers might like to see what I'm up against everyday.

Project Log

Here is the hit list of projects that I'm currently working from. Enjoy.

SANDOW -- Currently at 119 (118 pages with the action margin expansion). A rewrite would involve possibly emphasising his conflict with society. Currently out to NK and PC. Need to follow up with both of them.

CONSTANCE DE BEVERLEY -- Script could "lose 10-12 pages". Although I cut 3 pages since NK told me that so the new numbers are 7-9 pages. The most obvious change for me now is have Henry at York when Marmion, Constance and Co. arrive which would remove some of the ponderousness from the script. Also would allow me to change some of the more ridiculous dialog sequences. (How many times can she ask him "Who's my daddy?") I also need to address the problem of her father. Does she leave because of her father or because she's smitten with Marmion? I don't feel the energy to do this.

CHRONIC PSYCHO – DS has it right now. We should send it out after Sundance. (Sundance ends January 29). JL. also has it. Must follow up with her on it before giving over TGTS.

(The one about the guy who's cursed) -- Still don't have the handle on this one....

TGTS –- Need to do draft 2 on episode 1. Need to do draft 1 on episode 3.

AUTO SALVAGE –- Fermenting. This will be the next feature. About Tetley in Las Vegas. Like the story I wrote meets Paul Auster's SMOKE, with more humor. [I'm adapting my own short story here folks.]

MACHINE 000101 (Machine One-Oh-One) -- Step 1) find any robot. Step 2) Shoot some footage. [This is a short film about a little robot named Machine 000101.]